Everyone knows how important it is to check in with your friends. But how do we identify that friend in need and then how do we have a conversation with them?
Through my lowest points I was so lucky to have some amazing support around me. Without my partner, family and mates I think that I would have had a really tough time to get out of my rut. It is so important that if you think that someone you care about seems not like themselves to check in and see how you can help.
The signs that someone is going through a rough patch:
- They have socially isolated themselves
- A change in appearance- gained weight/lost weight
- They looked fatigued- Lack of sleep or increased sleep
- They have emotional outbursts- Get angry easily, sad and even happiness can be signs.
- Loss of interest in the things they love doing
- They are irritable
- They are being reckless in their behaviour
Now that we have identified the signs of someone who is going through a rough patch, what can we do about it?
- Start a conversation in a private, friendly and safe environment. To begin with ask questions like- How have things been? What’s been going on? Be specific, you’ve been a bit quiet lately, is everything okay? If they don’t want to talk, that’s okay. Make sure they don’t feel criticised and let them know if they ever want to talk, you are there for them.
- They have acknowledged that something is up, now it’s your turn to listen and not judge, acknowledge their feelings and ask questions like- How long have you felt like this? How are you feeling about that? The most important part here is to listen (getting stuff of one’s chest is great) and not criticise.
- You’ve started the conversation and listened to their concerns, now is time to suggest actions that can help that person. What have you done in the past in this situation? When I fill like that I…. What’s something you can do for yourself at the moment? Based on their feelings it’s important that you have discussed a possible solution and if you have struggled with a solution, you can suggest a visit to their GP.
- You’ve had the tough conversation and now know that person’s concerns. It is important to follow up and check in with that person. How have you been since our conversation? How did our solution go? It’s just me checking in, how have you been? Check in every now and then, make sure you aren’t smothering them sometimes they need some space, ensure this by asking if you are overstepping boundaries.
These conversations can be hard for both parties but by biting the bullet you could help save a life. So please if you think someone is having a tough time have that difficult conversation and you don’t know how much that can impact someone’s life!
What are some strategies you have found that work when having a difficult conversation?
Let us know in the comments!
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